


Hush, little baby.

by DittyWrites



Series: Scarecrow/Riddler Shenanigans [9]
Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Batman: Arkham - All Media Types, DCU, DCU (Comics)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Companionable Snark, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Humor, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, M/M, Snark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-06
Updated: 2017-08-06
Packaged: 2018-12-11 21:55:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11723337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DittyWrites/pseuds/DittyWrites
Summary: Edward has a question that needs answered and only Jonathan can help him.Exactly why did Jonathan need access to the Huntress' purple motorbike?





	Hush, little baby.

**Author's Note:**

> Been meaning to upload this for ages but im a lazy swine lmao

“Why the bike?”

Tilting his head at the unexpected question, Jonathan furrowed his eyebrows in confusion as he considered Edwards’ words.

“What?”

Edward huffed as he was forced to repeat himself, “Why the bike?”

“You do understand,” Jon bit out between his teeth, irritated, “that repeating the exact same nonsensical question in the exact same tone of voice will not lend it any further meaning? What bike are you referring to?”

“While the whole ‘Hush’ debacle was occurring, I asked each criminal what the price of their involvement would be.”

“I can recall the conversation.” Jon interjected.

“So my question is, why the bike? Of all the possible rewards I could have provided you with, why was your only price that purple monstrosity which belonged to Huntress? Why not money or information? You know I have many contacts of value.”

Pausing to give Jonathan time to answer, Edward linked his hands and placed them beneath his chin. He had been contemplating the event as a whole when the question had occurred to him and now seemed as good a time as any to get a response.

Clearing his throat, Jonathan avoided Edwards’ eye as he answered.

“I am unsure.”

Jonathan had never been a particularly good liar when it came to trivial things and Edward could sense the deception immediately. Plus, the very slight blush which was now staining Jonathans’ upper cheeks was a dead giveaway.

“Lies.”

Narrowed eyes sought him out.

“Do not be rude, Edward.”

Releasing a hand from his chin, Edward held it up in defense.

“Then do not try to feed me lies,” he chastised, “and instead tell the truth. Why did you ask for the motorbike? I am insanely curious about your answer, as surprising as that may seem.” He smiled crookedly.

Snorting, Jonathan knew he would not escape this interrogation without answering honestly. Besides, the truth could be worth it, if only for the reaction, which was sure would be at least somewhat entertaining.

“I also lied when I told you I remember the conversation asking for my price,” he confessed smoothly, his tone laced with humour, “because I have absolutely no meaningful recollection of that particular weekend because I spent the entire time dangerously high on ecstasy.

“WHAT?” Edward exploded, unable to keep the raw shock from his face.

Whatever he was expecting, it certainly was not that.

Smirking, Jonathan elaborated.

“That weekend I received a small shipment of ecstasy from one of my chemical suppliers as I had speculated that it may provide more vivid hallucinations for my toxin than the current compound which I am using. Since I was lacking any viable human test subjects at the time, I chose to sample a very small amount on myself in the safety of my hideout.”

His smile faded slightly as he pursed his lips.

“Unfortunately, the shipment was much more highly concentrated that I had anticipated and, as a result, my memories of that weekend as a whole are strained at best and completely unreliable at worst.”

“So you do not remember talking to me at all?” Edward pouted.

Rolling his eyes, Jonathan grumbled, “Edward, I do not remember asking for, or even riding, that damned bike. My only memories of that time are a vague recollection of gassing the Huntress and also attending a tea party with Jervis, whom I also believe may have further drugged me in order to keep me from gaining lucidity.”

“That does not sound like Jervis.” Edward offered sarcastically. “So you have no memory of what you accomplished after gaining access to the motorbike?”

“I awoke in my hideout two days later with a deep gash in my upper arm and a missing shoe which has never, to this day, been recovered. Needless to say, from that day on I have never tested any of my toxin compounds on myself.”

A raised eyebrow from Edward, “What about your accident last week?”

Glaring at the contradiction, Jonathan amended his statement.

“I have never tested any of my toxin compounds on myself,  _willingly_.”

Placing his hand on Jonathans’ shoulder affectionately, Edward grasped it as he laughed.

“Honestly, I never would have believed that you had something like that in you. How risky and foolish.”

Removing the hand from his shoulder a little more forcefully than necessary, Jonathan crossed his arms in defense as Edward continued to chortle at his misfortune.

“You also spoke entirely in nursery rhymes for that weekend,” tapping his finger against his forearm, Edward spoke as he thought aloud, “and even I remembering thinking that your behaviour was slightly odd but I was too engrossed with…other problems to truly focus.”

“Honestly, given the potency of the drugs I had taken at the time, you should be thankful that I settled on something as innocuous as nursery rhymes.” Jonathan muttered, his mouth twitching at the corners as he fought to keep his smile from the amused genius.

In lieu of a response, Edward simply laughed.


End file.
